C C C CHRISSSTMASSS!!

It is almost upon us! For some it is a time of eating, indulgence and joy. For me, I enjoy seeing my family and friends the most. I don't care too much for gifts, the food is nice, but again, if it wasn't there I wouldn't mind an awful lot. I do absolutely love seeing people whom have special places in my heart and I don't necessarily get to see the rest of the year. It is the one time of year when most people are together and we can share joyous moments, creating memories and enjoying time with each other. Everything is ready for the day, I have purchased and made gifts, wrapped them, finished work- nothing left to do now. As the day grows closer and closer, there are festive treats in shops, yuletide glows flowing from the streets, and carol singers a plenty. I even have glittery nails! One thing which is stuck in my mind however, and I can't seem to shift it is that for some the festive season is a time where they are just reminded of the treachery and solitude in their lives. The homeless who may have no where to go, the elderly who have no remaining family, those affected by natural disasters who no longer have a place to call home. I should be excited and anticipating the fun and festivities. And I am. But these people are on my mind and I just feel like it must be harder than ever for those less fortunate at this time of year. Last year, Mum and I volunteered at a homeless feeding project on Christmas Day. One old fella really stuck in my mind. I was collecting pots to go and wash them and he was sat slurping his mug of tea all alone. I asked if he would like me to get him a cooked brekkie. He just peered out from under his beanie and grunted 'leave me alone'. My heart broke for him. I was sad for him that he was unhappy, and hungry, and had no one special to spend the day with, even to share a few happy words. But the truth is that there will be hundreds of people out there who will unfortunately not be able to celebrate, or have no one to celebrate with, and for them, this time of year must be very difficult. I count my lucky stars that at this point in life, I am lucky enough to have money to provide myself a roof, food in the fridge and that my family and friends are all fit, healthy and well.So as I enjoy the day with my wonderful family surrounding me, my prayers and thoughts go out to every single one of those people, and for them (and the rest of you) I hope that the new year of 2014 brings better days and a glimmer of hope.

Inspiration

So, as many of you know I have recently started my own small crafty business, Bintang Arts. I have been selling things online on Etsy and through Facebook, and have done a couple of events too. I absolutely love making things, the colours, the textures, just creating something new. I have a strong interest in photography too and often take the colours from a photo I like when making something. I also love upcycling things, taking something which had one purpose and giving it a new lease of life by turning into something else. It is good for the planet to reuse these materials and saves on costs too. It also often means that no two things I make are the same, which is somewhat special. I have been trying out all sorts of techniques and experimenting really and have decided to stop making certain things and concentrate on a few items. So from now on going forwards I am going to try and make everything from upcycled materials where ever possible. At a few of the events I have done and some other small similar businesses which I have seen, I have wondered what it is that makes those businesses successful. Part of that success I have observed, is that they are making things which are popular. I have questioned whether I should be concentrating on more ‘popular’ items before realising that being ‘popular’ isn’t what inspires me and if I go down that route my inspiration and creativity will soon die. I don’t want to be one of these people who will sell out to commercialism and forget why they started something in the first place. I was first inspired as a small child when doing all sorts of crafts with my god mother- just ‘having a go’. Most recently inspired by places in Asia such as the Arts Centre in Bangkok and the beautiful artists of Ubud in Bali. The last thing I want is to forget those inspirational moments and become a ‘business woman’ rather than a craftsman or artist. So here is to inspiration, keeping that inspiration alive and sticking with it.

But it isn't even New Year yet...

I know it isn’t the New Year yet, but alas, I have made a resolution. I never usually bother, well, I do, but they often get broken in the first week or so as they are usually a bit pointless which leads to me not bothering to keep them. However- this one is a little different. Just recently I have been feeling like there is a whirlwind in my brain and I just can’t seem to concentrate on anything. I will be at work and can’t think about work, or be cooking dinner and be so distracted I have cooked it, eaten it and washed up without even realising I started. Not good. So- here it is- the big resolution. To pay attention.  It seems so simple doesn’t it. I know you are probably thinking, ‘Well I pay attention’ - but do you? Because I know recently I haven’t been, not at all. The effects of not paying attention I have found to be quite dramatic. I have stopped enjoying things that I love- simply because when I am doing those things I’m not actually ‘doing’ them . Like writing for example, or sewing, or painting, or cooking, or walking. Instead of paying attention to the beauty of the colours, or the feelings of passion I have about the subject of which I am writing, or the textures and tastes of a meal, my mind has been whizzing around on ‘stuff’. Well, mind- here’s news for you – no more whizzing! Now we will pay attention to what is happening and enjoy it. So- with my new resolution, this morning I thoroughly enjoyed a walk to work- no mind whizzing but in fact absorbing the stunning autumnal colours which are soon to be gone. I wonder how I came about this resolution? Well, as a result of my mind feeling a little ‘whizzy’ recently as I wasn’t quite my pecker old self, just a bit fed up and my creativity  had taken a knock too. Normally I would do something I love and enjoy in these circumstances, but even that wasn’t working- and then I sort of just realised my world and experiences were passing me by whilst I was obliviously whizzing. Whiz whiz whiz! I also thought about recent times when I really enjoyed those things, eating, writing, creating. And one of those times was when I was travelling – which is all about enjoying the moment you are in, and absorbing it, and well, just living it.  So I thought I owe it to myself to take these everyday opportunities and just enjoy them again. The colours, the faces, the nature, the designs, the smiles, the smells, the patterns, the emotions, the tastes, the textures – absorb all of them. Just take ten minutes today to try my resolution, and pay attention to what is around you. It might even spur you to think of one of your own ;)

Loopy Roo

Today has been a very sad day :( I have had to say goodbye to my bestest friend, Rupert. I got Rupert in 2007 when working for Bruce and Ali. He used to be a racehorse, then was with various eventers before coming to me to teach me the ropes of eventing! I had a great season out eventing on him, before he sadly got an arthiritic injury which meant he could no longer be ridden. As he had been so wonderful and was generally still healthy we retired him and he has been living out his days in a herd of horses up at West Hall in Byfleet. He never fails to put a smile on his face with his cheekyness and quirks. He has kept us on our toes the past 6 years, with small injuries and weight problems but always been a cheery little chap and just generally enjoying life. Despite that, he has been quite poorly recently so we thought it was the kindest thing. He always drops weight through the winter, but we usually feed him lots and wrap him up in rugs and he does ok til about February/March and then it isnt long until the grass starts growing. But just after that nasty storm we had he dropped off masses of weight, very suddenly. We weren't sure if perhaps the storm had stressed him out, so we pumped a bit more food into him (there wasn't much more he could eat!) but this week he had taken a turn for the worse. We were scratching our heads and worrying as to why he was getting thinner and thinner despite all the feed he was having. We had the vet out on Monday and they did blood tests. The blood tests came back, and the vet said there was a huge excess of protein in Roo's blood, and he also found a tumour on his chest which had rapidly developed. He expected, after being told what we were feeding Roo and also looking at just how thin he was, that some sort of cancer had taken hold. The vet advised he may only live a few more days, and although probably not in pain, he could soon feel some discomfort. So this morning I headed over to see him, and say my goodbyes. Despite knowing it had to be done, and it was the kindest thing it was still so hard. I have sold horses before, which is sad, but not the same. And we have had cats put to sleep before, but I think with a horse, the partnership is somewhat different, making it that much harder to say goodbye. The past few years, he has been a rather special case with a lot of special needs but I think that has just made me more attached to him knowing he really needs us. Saying all of that, our last hour couldn't have been more perfect together. I sat with him while he had his breakfast, and he kept trying to knock off my wooly hat (his favourite annoying trick!). He didn't finish his breakfast but decided to take a walk around the field. I walked by the side of him and when I slowed down or stopped, he just looked at me almost to say 'cmon would you!' so I continued to walk with him. He stopped under a tree at the other side of the field and rested his head in my arms by my chest. Roo normally hates cuddles and will only let you have one before pulling away and eating grass again. I am convinced he knew it was time, as he stood there with me stroking his face for about 20 minutes. So we just stood there having our last few moments together, having cuddles and kisses. He was in quite a bad way by the time today came, extremely under weight, with scabby skin and diarrhea as well as a lot of lumpy tumours. I think his body had just about given up on him, with the cancer taking hold so quickly. It wasn't nice to see him in that way but he was still his old self, being cheeky, but he definitely knew it was time to go. The vet came, so I gave him one last big squeeze before leaving him with Anne and the vet. By now, he will be munching grass in the sky with his old pal Nimmy. RIP Loopy my beautiful boy, one day we will meet again.

graduation

Last week was graduation week. After four long years of hard work the day finally came!! About time! Mum flew over from Malta and Nana travelled down from Sheffield on the Monday afternoon so I collected them from Gatwick and we had a bit of grub before Mum headed down to Bournemouth. She got a head start on us as she wanted to visit the lovely Aunty Fifi who lives down there. Kim also travelled down to Bournemouth on the Tuesday to spend the day and celebrate with us so it really was a special day in the end. Nana was asking me on the train down if I was excited and I really wasn’t, I just couldn’t see what the big deal was. But when we arrived it all changed. It was just so wonderful to see all my friends in their gowns and caps after we have all worked so hard. The ceremony involved a lot of clapping. A lot. And a lot of Chinese students getting masters and PhDs. But they eventually got around to us BA lot and we finally got those hard earned certificates! Wahooo. I should really frame it and treasure it but at the moment it’s in a drawer. Mum cried. As expected. We then went out for dinner in Bournemouth and Fiona joined us. Kim and Nana both gave me graduation gifts, which was so kind although unexpected. It was a bit sad when they had to leave on Wednesday morning and I headed out to work, although I am hoping to get out to see Mum in January or February so that is something to look forward to. John’s graduation was on the Thursday, which I didn’t attend due to work, but I saw some photos and he really pulled the outfit off! Much better than me, with my cap falling off the whole time. I went back down to Bournemouth on the Friday evening to have a celebratory dinner with him and his family, which was lovely. So there you go, we are finally graduates!!!

Hello November

I can't believe that it is November already. It doesn't seem two minutes ago that we were revising for finals and dreams of travels were keeping us going, and now its almost Christmas! I do love autumn though, each morning walking to work seeing all sorts of beautiful colours on the trees, and some of the prettyest sun rises. November is a bit of a busy month this year too. Tomorrow we are headed down to Bournemouth for graduation. Mum is flying over, and Nana and Kim are also coming so that will be just lovely. Johns graduation is later in the week, so on Friday I will go back to Bournemouth to see his family and some of our friends, big catch up is well overdue! Later in the month, on the 20th, I am privileged to have been invited to a very exciting event! It is a charity quiz held by Msizi Africa for World Aids Day. They invited me to have a stall there and sell some things, with some profits going to them. They do some fantastic work over in Lesotho with children, based around feeding programs and the importance of getting a good meal so I am ever so thrilled to have been invited. Whats more is that Jenni is over in Lesotho at present and has been taking some exceptional photos for me to make into cards- brilliant! After the quiz and things quieten down a little, I will be off to Cheltenham to see Johns new flat. He only went and got himself a job last week ! So he will be moving into a new place soon. This weekend has been spent online shopping for a bed and sofa! All very exciting if a little grown up. Its a bit crazy how quickly 2013 is going.

Bintang!!

Bintang Arts is a small crafty business I have recently started up since coming home from travels. Mostly inspired by trotting around the globe and a love of making things. I have an etsy page and also a facebook and twitter page so please check them out. And last week, secured my first deal to get a few products into a shop! A real life, actual shop! Super excited. They only wanted a few things to start off, and its a small local shop- but it's still a shop!!! eeeeek! please take a look...
www.facebook.com/ArtsBintang
www.twitter.com/Bintangarts
www.etsy.com/uk/shop/bintangarts